Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Mint Madly

Mint Madly is really a complex fellow. He grew up in the classic rock era, but had something entirely futuristic about him. He played bass guitar, first in a heavy metal band when he was sixteen, but later switched to softer rock because he wanted to play solos with his bass like an electric guitar, and between the drummer (who was deaf from hitting the symbols so hard and broke from having to replace all the dented ones) and the lead guitar player (who was deaf from having his amp-which went up to eleven instead of just ten-turned all the way up, and broke because he had to get a new one every couple of weeks), he decided metal was not the place for him. But soft rock was really no better, and after attempting country, punk, latin, and swedish pop, he decided to make a solo album with classical bass guitar, then three bonus tracks with a distinct flavour of the seventies rock scene in them. This was the breakthrough. It was so different. No one ever thought off playing a classical bass solo before, not to mention mixing it with rock. Mint went huge, his first record- Mint Madly and the Metamorphosing Monarchs went platinum (and yes, he definitely had a thing for alliteration) within it's first week of being released.

Suddenly Mint was a star, and he lived like one. He bought a new car every few months, had houses in several different countries, and got his hair permed every three days (just to make sure it was still looking Madly Mintish-which was mint's version of saying something looked cool). Unfortunately Mint had a rare chemical disorder which he acquired from is youngling days as a redneck in the Florida swamps. He loved steak. In fact he loved steak so much that it got to the point of it being detrimental to his health. With lot's of money come lot's of steak, and mint couldn't get enough. He had steak at least twice a day, and sometimes even for breakfast. His health quickly slid into slump that was beyond either his money or his incredible bass playing talents to fix, and he died at the young age of 43.

His dying wish was that his logo (a mint leaf) would be put on Tic Tac mint containers, and that on his tombstone there would be an engraving that would say " Mint Madly and the Metamorphosing Monarchs was of a madly mintish make, and LONG LIVE STEAK!!!!!!!!!!"


Mint Madly is a fictional character concocted by the brains of Doug Gough, Josh Sczebel, and I.


LONG LIVE STEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

Brittany said...

Ok, wow. I actually read through the whole thing and I am at a loss for words. Quite a post.

Anonymous said...

hahaha.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I feel stupid for actually believing it most of the time. That was very creative though.

Anonymous said...

ahahaha. You really believed it? then I guess I did a good job. I wanted to make people think it was real.

Anonymous said...

I concur. I would have fallen for it but, you are my brother and I know you well.

Brittany said...

It was sadly kind of realish. Ha

Brittany said...

Ok, that didn't come out quite how I wanted. Oh, well.

Anonymous said...

That was the point. It was supposed to be realish.