I just read Lorraine's attempt at poetry (and it was pretty good), so I figured I'd jump on the fad and put up some of mine.
I wrote this last night at about 9:00, and all but the first part of the first verse is mine ( the part I stole was written by a Lady by the name of Anne Steele in the 1800s). It is quite old englishy, but that is because I just happen to like that style of writing so much the better, and the way people worded things back then was far superior (in my rather inferior opinion) to how people write now. By the way I also wrote music and a melody to it so it'll have to be modernized a bit. So the way you see it now is most likely not the way you'll ever see it again. This is the first draft, the thoughts that just randomly came off my mind.
Here it is.
Refuge of my weary soul
On Thee when sorrows rise
On Thee when waves of trouble roll
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I give each rising grief
For Thou alone can heal
You shed your blood for my relief
And bore each pain I feel
When rising clouds of doubt prevail
And all my works seem dead
When every effort seems to fail
You gently raise my head
You point me to Your wondrous cross
And bid me trust Your grace
It is my only righteousness
My only hiding place
Until the day when You return
Until that final rest
Lord teach my erring heart to learn
That you will hold me fast
Teach me to trust that blood-stained cross
Trust mercy ever free
Because you paid the boundless cost
My Refuge you will be.
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6 comments:
Wow.
That's really excellent.
Thank you for posting that...
I've read some stuff by Anne Steele, and she rocks!
You're right, englishy writing styles are FAR better then modern styles...
Any idea's of how to better it?
Wow Joe. That is amazing. Yeah, thanks for posting it.
I'm glad I started something. Even though I was just messing around when I wrote that ummm.... whatever it was. I couldn't write like that if I tried. Oh well. I think I'll just leave it to you. You seem to be doing just fine. :)
Um, no ideas as of yet...
what kind of melody does it have?
Is it traditional hymn with simple chord structures, or is it neo-modern with complex chord structures, or simple chordings with embellishments???
Fast or slow??? What's it like?
I must say that I love where you say "bore each pain I feel"... very poetic...
ESPECIALLY "Lord teach my erring heart to learn" that's also extremely beautiful and poetic.
One thing, are you trying to rhyme everything??? because rest and fast don't quite rhyme. They're not bad, though, it sounds good.
Just wondering. :-)
First, the melody is reasonably slow, and needs a bit of work. I wrote it in the key of C, because I love how it sounds. The chords are reasonably simple, but I'm working on sprucing them, along with the melody, up.
Second, I was trying to rhyme everything within the rhyme scheme, but the reason I used "fast" was that even though it does not completely rhyme with rest, the "st" at the end trick the mind into thinking it does when it is sung in a particular manner.
Majestic. Inspiring. A rather haunting lyrical pattern, wouldn't you say?
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